ABC's
by Nothing-but-PBandJ
Summary: Yes. Drabbles. The horrible, horrible drabbles. Each with a letter of the alphabet. Each about two of our favorite characters on Sherlock. Slash SherlockxJohn/ Rated for suggestive but nothing explicit.
1. A

**A for Antique**

It was a nice enough shop, John thought, and Sherlock seemed a tad interested too. A really, really small bit. Okay, he really wasn't interested. Something caught John's eye.

"Look at that vase. What do you think about getting that?"

Sherlock inspected it.

"It's ugly."

"It's an antique!" the store owner shouted, appearing behind them, "You've got to have an eye for these things."

"I do have an eye. And I can assure you that this 'antique' is at most one year old."

"How do you know that?" asked the store owner.

"I wouldn't expect you to know."

The store owner looked angry. John thought it was time to make amends.

"We'll take it!"


	2. B

**B for Bacon**

Sherlock smelled it the moment he woke up. Like a hound on the alert, he threw himself out of bed and rushed towards the kitchen. John was by the stove, cooking up something delicious.

Bacon. Sherlock loved bacon. And John could master the art of bacon-cooking perfectly.

Sherlock sneaked behind John and gave him a hug.

"What's the occasion?" Sherlock asked.

"Well, you've saved a lot of lives yesterday, if you remember," John smiled, "So I thought you should have some sort of reward."

"I do love bacon. But if I eat this bacon now, will I still get you for dessert?"

"Always."


	3. C

**C for Catch**

When John was a little boy, he used to love fishing. He would fish with his sister at a pond nearby their house.

Harry would catch the bigger ones and always bragged about it.

But John would tell her that he would always catch the better ones. She didn't know what he meant.

And now a good twenty years later or so, Harry told John that she has a lover.

This lover made more money than Sherlock and John combined and she bragged.

But that's okay. John told her like he always told her. He wrapped his arm around Sherlock.

She's caught the bigger one. But John caught the better one.


	4. D

**D for Dare**

Sherlock scowled at a smiling John.

"Come on Sherlock. It's part of the game."

"I didn't even want to play this game anyway."

"Come on. Once you finish with your dare, you can give me a dare."

"...And you promise to follow it?"

"As long as I don't have to kill anyone or anything like that."

Well that did sound fair enough. But Sherlock really, really didn't want to do it.

One look at John's puppy eyes was enough to persuade him though. He got out his phone.

"Mummy? Hello, I...thought I'd call. Yes, I...lo-love you too."

Sherlock glared at John. Oh, he will pay.


	5. E

**E for E-Mail**

John: Sherlock, y r u still at the library? Its almost midnight!

Sherlock: John, since this e-mail system has an automated spell check, you should be able to spell correctly.

John: Of course I can. But that doesn't mean I have to. And it doesn't make me dumb if I don't do it.

Sherlock: I never said you were dumb. As for your question, I'll be there shortly.

John: YOU SAID THAT THREE HOURS AGO!

Sherlock: Okay, I'm ignoring your unnecessary and annoying capitalization. But do you miss me that much? You're so sweat.

John:...Sweat?

Sherlock: *sweet


	6. F

**F for Fire**

The building was bursting into flames from the bomb that went off just moments ago.

Thanks to Sherlock, no one got hurt but now he and John were trapped inside.

Sherlock dodged a flaming, falling piece of wood. He thought John was right behind him but when he turned around,he couldn't see him!

He rushed back and found John lying on the floor, trying to pull his shoe out of a niche in the floor that was the result of an earlier brawl with one of the big, ugly baddies.

Sherlock grabbed his shoe and pulled it out of John's foot. He carried a blushing John out of the building.

Later John would jokingly complain about loosing his shoe and Sherlock was just grateful that the fire didn't get him.


	7. G

**G for Gag**

John could really be a kinky bastard.

He loved to see Sherlock gagged with his very own scarf.

Sherlock didn't understand this kink of his but he didn't bother to ask John.

Which was a good thing because he wouldn't like the answer.

The real reason was because when Sherlock was gagged, he couldn't say anything.

And for a few seconds in bed Sherlock was not doing that annoying thing where he deduced something with little to no regard of how John would feel.

"You've gained at least three pounds this month."

Speaking of which. John sighed and got out the scarf.


	8. H

**H for Holiday**

Living with Sherlock has gotten stranger and stranger.

The man actually forgot his birthday.

Sherlock, who can tell what all your secrets are by looking at a piece of lint on your shirt, forgot something so worth remembering!

Well John wasn't going to have any of that.

When Sherlock came home to a cake and presents, he remembered instantly but tried to look cool about it.

"It's not a holiday so it's not that unlikely that I would've forgotten it," was his excuse.

So John made it a point to mark Sherlock's birthday on the calendar, which was also on St. Patrick's Day.

It technically was a holiday.


	9. I

**I for Ice Cream**

Sherlock savored his cold treat with a flick of his tongue, causing John to blush.

They had stopped for ice cream at a small shop and now Sherlock was tormenting John with his very suggestive way of eating.

Sherlock was enjoying looking at John's inner turmoil.

He decided to take it a step further and lightly moan while eating.

John's face became even redder, as if that were possible.

When Sherlock finished the last of his treat, John decided to get revenge.

He held up his popsicle for Sherlock to see and jammed it in his mouth.

Sherlock didn't torment him again after that. At least, not publicly.


	10. J

**J for Joke**

"John, do you like this?"

Sherlock showed John a bottle of lotion. John arched an eyebrow.

"Well I-"

"Do you want it on your face?"

"What? No."

Sherlock produced an unwrapped lollipop.

"Put it in your mouth."

"No way. God knows where that thing's been!"

It was getting harder for Sherlock to contain his laughter.

Sherlock showed John his caged tarantula and took it out. John gasped.

"Sherlock!"

Sherlock held the spider.

"Do you want it inside?" he motioned towards the cage.

"Yes! God yes! Stop playing around and put it inside!"

Mrs. Hudson was just outside the door, listening in. John didn't know. Sherlock did.


	11. K

**K for Kiss**

Sherlock really liked John's kisses.

There were all different kinds.

Sometimes John gave him butterfly kisses on his neck that tickled lightly.

Other times John would kiss him on the nose.

Sherlock would call it tacky but it was really one of his favorite kinds of kisses.

But the one he liked best was John's goodnight kiss, which was placed firmly but gently on the lips.

Sherlock had goodnight kisses before with his mother.

And sometimes very rarely kisses from his brother (give him a break, he was four!).

But John's goodnight kiss was something he would cherish until the day he died.


	12. L

**L for Little**

Was it weird that Sherlock thought John as cute and little?

The man was, after all, a war veteran and a serious doctor.

How could someone like that be considered cute and little?

But Sherlock did secretly think of him that way.

Sometimes it took all of his will not to pet him on the head like a dog and shout 'how cute.'

Very un-Sherlock-like, yes. But John was special.

And John was extra cute when he was angry and nagging. Like he was right now.

"You shouldn't leave chemicals like that unattended!"

Sherlock couldn't take it anymore.

He patted a surprised John on the head.


	13. M

**M for Milk**

"John, get milk. We need milk."

They always needed milk.

It was dawn and Sherlock woke him up for that.

"Why don't you get it?"

Sherlock looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

John got up, dressed and went to the store.

He came back with a full gallon, rather than half a gallon. Sherlock wasn't happy.

"How can we drink that all before it spoils?"

John looked incredibly stressed at this point. Sherlock felt a stab of guilt.

"I mean...uh...you're wonderful for thinking of that. I love you."

John produced a smile. Sherlock may be a jerk a lot of the time.

But the detective knew when to make John feel appreciated.


	14. N

**N for Necrophilia**

John was understandably upset when he found out that Sherlock had faked his own death.

This whole time mourning and the man wasn't even dead!

Sherlock tried to appease him with his favorite violin music and candy.

John wouldn't have any of it.

But eventually John's anger died down.

And when the two were snuggling on the couch, John joked.

Joked about how he was performing necrophilia.

It was a bad idea because it made Sherlock want to roleplay.

Sherlock was the cop and John was the bad boy doing illegal things.

It was fun but now John had to hide the markings from the handcuffs.


	15. O

**O for Only**

Not only was John a lot of things, but there were a lot of things only John was.

Sherlock thought back to his first kiss.

It was sloppy and gross.

He couldn't remember who the person's name was.

And they kept trying to shove their tongue down his throat.

Sherlock only liked John's kisses.

Sometimes, Sherlock didn't want to talk to anyone one else except John.

John had this gift of knowing when to talk and when to listen.

Sherlock hated it when people talked when he just wanted them to _listen_.

Most importantly, John was the only one who understood Sherlock.

And Sherlock wouldn't trade John for the world.


	16. P

**P for Punishment**

"You know what you did."

Sherlock blushed, knowing what was going to come next. He and John liked to do a little dom/sub roleplay sometimes and they would switch roles. But when John played dom, he played it well.

"Yes, master. I know what I did."

Sherlock was bent over on the chair. John stood right behind him, patting a ruler against his hand.

"What did you do?"

"I used your computer without asking."

"That's right. Now for your punishment."

John waved his ruler like he was going to slap Sherlock hard. But it ended up being a very soft pat on his rear. Sherlock's heart was racing from all the stimulation.

"Now we're not going to do that again, right?"

"Right," Sherlock said out loud.

But inside he was thinking of all the ways he could get this 'punishment' again.


	17. Q

**Q for Quilt**

John really liked the quilt that Mrs. Hudson bought for him for Christmas.

It was big, fluffy and warm. The warmest blanket he had ever had.

Every evening he would be comfortably wrapped in it.

He didn't notice that Sherlock had his eye on the quilt too.

John came home from work to find Sherlock asleep on the couch.

And the detective was using the quilt.

John thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen, Sherlock wrapped like a burrito.

He wondered why Sherlock wouldn't have just slept in his bed.

It was because the quilt was more than just warm for Sherlock.

Sherlock could smell and feel John in every stitch of the quilt.

And that made it the most comfortable quilt in the world.


	18. R

**R for Real**

_Years Ago..._

"Sherlock, you need real friends."

"Sherlock, honey, listen to your brother."

"Sherlock do this. Sherlock do that," ten-year old Sherlock mocked when he was alone in his room.

Well, not entirely alone. He had Jack with him. But only he could see him.

Mycroft and Mummy didn't like Jack because they couldn't see him.

They said he needed 'real' friends. But Jack was real enough.

He didn't need 'real' friends.

_Present..._

"John. Hand me my pen."

"You put it in your coat pocket."

"I know. Hand it to me."

John rolled his eyes and walked over to where Sherlock was engrossed at looking through a microscope.

He took the pen out of the pocket.

"Why do you make me do that when you're wearing your coat?"

Sherlock shrugged. Maybe it was because John could do it.

Could do it because he was real.


	19. S

**S for Sick**

Sherlock woke up with his sheets cold from sweat.

His head was burning and pounding like a hammer on a heated nail.

He tried to sit himself up but he was too weak.

So he just laid there in misery until John found him.

"Sherlock. Are you okay?"

The doctor felt his forehead.

"That's one hell of a fever. You should stay in bed today."

Sherlock couldn't protest even if he wanted to.

John spent the whole day caring for him.

Getting him soup, fetching him water and constantly getting out that thermometer.

It was strange. Sherlock usually liked to play doctor. But not when he was actually sick.


	20. T

**T for Tickle**

"No! Sherlock stop!"

"You want it! You can't deny that you want it!"

"No! I don't want it. I don't!"

"Then why are you laughing so hard? You're smiling. You want it!"

"Get the hell away from my foot! And untie me!"

…...

"What are you doing? What's that? Lotion? Why are you putting lotion on my foot?"

"To make it feel nice. Also it makes the skin more sensitive to the touch."

"You bast-ARH! DON'T TICKLE ME ANYMORE!

"Say it."

"NO!"

"Say it."

"OKAY! OKAY!"

"Well?"

"I-I-I'M A LITTLE TEA POT SHORT AND STOUT!"

"Very good John,Sherlock released John's foot.

"I swear," John huffed, "you are the weirdest man ever. Now untie me."


	21. U

**U for Umbrella**

The rain poured outside.

And poor John was out in the middle of it, waiting for a taxi.

He was drenched in cold water.

He shivered before he realized that the rain had stopped.

No, it didn't stop. Someone had an umbrella over him.

Sherlock.

John's teeth was rattling.

"You sure took your time."

"I better get a reward kiss for this, John."

"You know you will."

Sherlock nodded in approval.

"Good. I did, after all, help my damsel in distress."

John smiled at his lover's joke.

But then he frowned in confusion.

"Where did you get an umbrella anyway?"

"I stole it from Mycroft."


	22. V

**V for Video**

"Sherlock. What are you doing with that camera?"

"Making a movie out of you. I'm going to record every second of you. It's for science."

"WHILE I'M IN THE BATHTUB?"

"Every. Second. Of. You."

"Get out. I need to dry off."

"I don't mind."

"Well I do mind. Can't I have one normal day with you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Sing a song."

"For God's sakes, why?"

"Science."

"I'm serious, Sherlock. Get out and let me dry off."

"I'm not preventing you from drying off."

"Drying off without it being recorded."

"...What a shame."


	23. W

**W for Winter**

John loved all the seasons but winter was his favorite.

Because it was during winter that Sherlock really liked to cuddle. More than usual.

And the two men would find themselves snuggling up against each other in bed, while snow sprinkled just outside the window.

Sherlock would try to get as close to his lover as possible. John would cherish every moment.

They would wrap their arms around each other with all the cuddliness of a teddy bear.

Occasionally, John would sneak a kiss or two. Sherlock would let him, of course.

In fact, sometimes Sherlock would return the favor.

The warmest season for John was winter.


	24. X

**X For X-Ray**

"Sherlock, stop."

"It's fine, John. I can walk."

"Really? You can walk? Because according to this X-ray examination, your leg is pretty much broken. So stop trying to get out of the bed."

"This patient's bed isn't very comfortable."

"Too bad. You shouldn't have tackled that man at the very top of that staircase."

"...Don't you have any sympathy to spare?"

"Oh Sherlock. I love you. That's why I need you to stay on the bed. As your doctor, I'll make sure you recover. And you know what?"

"No. What?"

"People with broken legs get all the ice cream they want."

"All right. But you have to spoon feed it to me, John," Sherlock winked.


	25. Y

**Y for Yoga**

The Downward Dog was a position where you were on all fours, the upper part of your body crouching down and the lower part sticking straight up.

John had only recently started yoga. He was careful not to stretch his war wound too much.

He didn't know that someone was looking at how his buttocks were raised. Sherlock was enjoying the view.

Before John noticed Sherlock behind him, he felt a tiny slap. It didn't hurt but he was flabbergasted.

John swiveled his entire body so that he was sitting down facing a smirking Sherlock.

"What was that?" he asked.

"It was fun," Sherlock answered.


	26. Z

**Z for Zeus**

"Zeus was a pervert," John told him, "He slept with every woman except his wife, Hera."

Sherlock smiled knowingly.

"Not just women. He thought a few men were attractive too."

John shook his head.

"It's just sad."

"Well, at least the stories of Zeus gives us one thing."

"What's that?" John was curious.

"They give us a lot of roleplay ideas. Oh, I know. Let's roleplay the story of Zeus and Io. It's very stimulating."

"What's that story about?"

"Io gets forced by Zeus and Hera turns her into a cow and tortures her."

Someone could just hear the cricket chirping in the background.

"Yeah, we're not doing that one," John finally replied.

* * *

><p>Not done. I'm going to go back to letter A in the next chapter.<p> 


	27. Accupuncture

**A for Accupunture**

"No. I'm not letting you," John told his lover.

The doctor knew that Sherlock was up to no good when the detective came up to him with a box of needles. And his suspicions were confirmed when Sherlock asked John to let him perform an experiment on him.

The experiment-accupunture.

"I hear it's very relaxing," Sherlock pointed out.

John sighed and closed his laptop. He looked up at Sherlock, who was standing right in front of his chair.

"It's relaxing if someone experienced does it. You don't know what you're doing."

Sherlock looked insulted.

"This experiment is for the sake of science. And I do know what I'm doing. Just let me do this one time."

"You're not poking me with those needles," John said sternly.

Sherlock took out a needle. John was alarmed.

"Sherlock. Stay away from me."

To John's surprise, Sherlock jabbed himself with the needle. Sherlock swore.

"Ouch! I guess that did hurt."

John slapped his forehead. Sherlock's hand was bleeding a bit. John went to get his medical kit.

While he was bandaging Sherlock's hand, Sherlock had another idea.

"John, let's-"

"No!"


End file.
